alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize