You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize