After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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