normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize