So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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