It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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