How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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