I'm really into asian looking animals
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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