Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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