I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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