Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize