Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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