matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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