You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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