Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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