too bad you live with your parents still
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize