VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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