wrigley field is MILF paradise
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize