I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize