i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize