Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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