it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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