She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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