I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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