she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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