I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I checked into jail on foursquare
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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