yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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