Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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