Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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