I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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