actually, I'm a sock model
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize