Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
two words: eviction party
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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