I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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