I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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