boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize