Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize