You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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