Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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