I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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