omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize