Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive.
So much puke
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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