Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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