I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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