She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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