can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize