PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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