I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize