So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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