I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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