I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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